Catharsis
by SilverDawn2010
Summary: Time doesn't heal all wounds... and it doesn't make all dreams magically come true... SonAmy, kinda sorta.


**Catharsis, noun. **

**1. The purging of the emotions or relieving of emotional tensions, especially through certain kinds of art.  
**

**2. The bringing of repressed ideas or experiences into consciousness.**

**...~...  
**

There were three big reasons why Amy Rose snuck out from the comforts of her warm feather bed at night to trek out into the cold, dark woods. The first being that when clouds weren't obscuring the sky, the sight of all the stars twinkling and the moon glowing it's reflection onto the crystal lake was simply too breathtaking to pass up. The second reason was that this special place of hers was a getaway from everything in life that brought her down - life, relationships, school, work... they all brought nothing but disappointment and stress and strain. Amy longed to be free of all that - her soul was slowly being seeped of life, unless she could come out here to think, dream, and imagine. This was her haven.

And the third reason? Well, this place was awful romantic, and would be the perfect spot to meet her soul mate. In fact, that was what consumed Amy's mind most of the time - dreams of a perfect, handsome man who would _happen_ to come by here when she was waiting.

And usually, this imaginary soul mate of hers would be dressed in blue fur, green eyes, and red sneakers. Yes, even _years_ later... Sonic the Hedgehog was still in Amy Rose's heart. No, her fangirl/stalker days were long over, gone with the wind created by Sonic's ever-retreating form. But still, somewhere inside Amy's disillusioned heart lay a scared little girl which longed for nothing but love. Sure, there had been other men in her life, but Sonic.. he symbolized her hopes and dreams and everything that she'd ever wanted. He was her goal, and without him... Amy simply felt incomplete.

So she was in the "someday my prince will come" mode, patiently and passively waiting for her other half to come rescue her from broken dreams and a busy life.

Now, most of Amy Rose knew that it wasn't the right thing to do to simply wait for a boy to just show up and sweep her off her feet (especially at this age, and what she'd already been through)... but she'd lived on the opposite side of the spectrum for most of her young teen years. She'd tried being the aggressor, the active one... and that had left her with a broken heart that she was still nursing, if only repressed.

And so here was where she found herself on a mild April night, when the moon was just a slim crescent but still stood out among the diamond-like stars contrasting the inky sky. Her black boots carried Amy over the well-worn dirt path and finally to the old wooden bench that offered a view over the calm mirror-like water. Even though it was pitch black outside save for the intermittent guidance of the fireflies, Amy had been out here enough times that she could find her way blind-folded.

The pink hedgehog climbed onto the bench and hugged her bare legs to her chest, shivering a little as goosebumps raced up her legs. The night was just a little chilly... some leftover spring air hadn't quite been replaced with the warmness of summer, and yet, Amy had been eager to put away her winter clothes at just the first hopeful signs of spring, flower buds blooming pink and white on the tree limbs.

_If only I had someone here with me, to keep me warm... _Amy thought as another shiver raced up her body. _If only he'd come and put his strong arms around me... hold me... _

She shook her head, knowing she had been down that mental route too many times. How many unfulfilled fantasies had rushed through her mind and still lingered? They didn't do much good, but at least they helped her feel better, helped ease the void...

Amy inhaled and exhaled a few times, slowly, just feeling the air coming in and out of her body. Filling and emptying, filling and emptying, filling and emptying... both her lungs and her heart...

It really was a beautiful night outside.. the girl couldn't deny that. So maybe she was alone... but it was better that way, wasn't it? That way, she couldn't be disappointed by anyone...she could just relax, be herself... and think...

The hedgehog remained in her spot for another hour or so, letting thoughts pass through her mind as they wished. But after a while, her tiredness caught up with her, and after stretching her weary limbs and giving up that her soul mate would meet her that night, she started heading back home. Night after night she was left waiting, and her foolish dream died more and more...

Amy started heading back into the woods, when a sudden (and very familiar) flash of wind caused her to immediately spin around, her eyes darting back and forth over the landscape. She noticed there was a disturbance on the previously calm water... ripples and small waves broke the surface, almost as if someone had been running over the top of her dream lake and tarnishing its surface.

"Sonic..." she breathed, almost in disbelief, before raising her voice, letting it desperately echo through the midnight woods. "Sonic!"

Nothing. He hadn't heard her; the hedgehog could outrun sound waves, and _her_ voice and face had always made him run extra fast... he wasn't coming back... Amy's soul mate had come, but he'd passed her right on by, just like he always did...

"Sonic..." she whispered again, almost despising how needy she felt right then.

"You called?"

His deep voice stole Amy's breath... almost to the point of encouraging tears from her eyes as she spun back around to face her direction home and Sonic himself.

Even in the lack of light... his face and smile and demeanor made her heart melt. For a moment she could only gape at him in awe, wondering just how he did what he did to her heart, even years later... it was just enough to keep those dreams alive... it was all she could do not to hug him.

"How did you know I was here?" Amy asked in a small voice.

"I didn't, but ya know, it seems like yer type of hangout. But what are you doin' up alone this time of night?" He cocked his head.

"I can't sleep - but I could ask you the same thing Sonic... you know it's not very safe to run around when you can hardly see."

"Safe? Safe has _never_ been my middle name," he gave that heart-melting grin and wink combo.

Amy rolled her eyes, but she still found herself wondering why Sonic had found her out here. Was it _destiny_ - was it a sign? Surely he knew of this place - Sonic knew the whole planet like the back of his hand with all the adventures and exploring he'd done in his twenty years... but why was it that he still hung around where she lived? Sure, they were friends, and Sonic's other good friends lived nearby... but it was odd to think that even someone as free as Sonic was still had his own roots, whether he'd be willing to admit it or not.

He started scratching his ear, a habit that Amy still found adorable. "Ya know, Ames..." he began, and Amy's heart skipped. Oh that was just what she'd always dreamed... "We're not exactly _kids_ anymore."

Amy stuck out her lip in defiance. "Speak for yourself, Sonic. You're the one who still roams the planet and gets his kicks on the thrill of running and doing silly tricks... and _still_ refuses to settle down."

"Hey, I am older than you, ya know."

"Only by three years and three months," Amy said matter-of-factly and crossed her arms.

Sonic laughed. "Heh... you really haven't changed a bit."

"So you still think I'm the same annoying little brat?" Amy asked, caring about his answer more than she would have liked.

"Nah... but you're still the same Amy... you can't change who you are."

"Sonic... it's _you_ who hasn't changed any."

The hedgehog looked away for a moment, and then turned back to the girl with passion burning in his eyes.

"Amy... do you still have feelings for me?"

Caught off guard, Amy blinked, but didn't hesitate in breathing, "Yeah." She knew that her heart still beat for him... if she knew anything, she knew this.

Sonic furrowed his brow. "Still? After all these years and you dated..."

"Yes." Amy nodded.

A small groan escaped Sonic's throat, resembling a growl. "Amy... you have to move on."

Her eyes flashed, as her temper flared without warning. "You think I can just snap my fingers and move on? You really think it's that _easy_? Of course you do - to you everything is _easy _and _fast_ and right how you want it... but how can I move on if you won't let me? I mean, you give me _just enough_ hope to keep me going and keep me from giving up on you, but not enough that I ever feel like it's ever possible. I'm constantly living on the edge between leaving you out of my heart for good and keep on loving you. And so I'm stuck in this hopeless _loop_-"

Sonic butted in, his own anger surfacing. "You think I like doing this? You think I _enjoy_ breaking your heart, Amy? You think it's how I get my _kicks_? You have no idea how much it _kills_ me. I hate it so much."

Not expecting that, Amy paused, but then continued, confused,

"Then why don't you just give in, Sonic? We could be so happy, for once..." She begged him, and placed a hand gently on his chest. His rapid heart beat pulsated onto her hand. "It's obvious that you -"

He pulled away from her tender touch, wanting it and yet not wanting it at the same time. "I can't. Impossible, Amy... we've _had_ this conversation before..."

"Yeah, we have, and it's always the same excuses and beating around the bush with you," Amy continued with a pout.

"You don't understand, It's not who I am, I'm not -" Sonic shook his head.

"But Sonic, you need love, we all do! You always push away the people that care about you and it's hurting you, more than you know... and I can't stand to see you -"

He grabbed her hands, immediately causing her to stop. Sonic could see teardrops in her eyes, and it killed him. He hated everything about this "relationship." He hated hurting Amy.

"Amy... you know I could never make you happy. I could never be what you've always wanted from me."

"That's not true... you're all that I've ever dreamed about, you're all that can make me happy -" she admitted as hot tears fell down her cheeks and dripped off her chin.

Sonic cringed. "Amy... you don't know me. I'm not... who you think I am. I'm not perfect, and I could never be your dream boyfriend. I would be away all the time, I wouldn't know the first thing about how to treat you... I'm awful at all that stuff... I'm not the one for you... I've already told you all this, but you just won't listen. I've been waiting for you to finally grow up and realize all this, and I thought I finally got through to you, but-"

"Since when did you get all _wise _on me, Sonic?"

"Sally." The name caused both of them to shudder. "It was her who made me realize that... romance is just not my thing, Ames. So I can't. I'm sorry, I never wanted to hurt you, but... being with you would only hurt you more."

Amy closed her eyes, trying to process the pain. This wasn't a new argument... in fact, they discussed this all the time, but every time they talked about it, the wounds opened and bled. Oh, but there was one thing... just one thing that kept her from healing them. And that was a very small hope that someday, Sonic would come to her. It was a sliver of hope that grew and faded along with the sliver of the moon, waxing and waning, sometimes overpowering, sometimes pushed aside... but never quite gone.

And Amy was tired of the emotional pendulum - she had to know.

"Sonic, do you love me or not?"

He paused, knowing that she'd be hurt no matter what he told her. _I swear, this has got to be the only battle that I can't win..._

He studied her dark green eyes and his own heart.

Did he love Amy Rose?

Amy watched Sonic as he pondered his own feelings in eagerness.

_C'mon Sonic, you know that you love me... just admit it, then I can feel a little better about the whole thing, and I can keep dreaming... just pull me into your arms, and say you love me, just let your heart be free, the rest of you is free, why restrict your heart and your love, too...?_

She closed her eyes in pain, knowing that the wait couldn't be a good thing. Every time Sonic hesitated and didn't just rush in... it couldn't be a good sign.

And then the unthinkable happened. Not the unimaginable, as it had often crossed Amy's mind as a fantasy... but the unlikely.

Amy felt Sonic grab the back of her head gently, letting her quills fall between his strong fingers as he tilted her head upwards to face his. She could feel his breath on her mouth, as his handsome face was only inches from her bewildered one as he pulled her closer. But still, she didn't dare open her eyes... afraid that sight might ruin _the moment_...

His kiss was strong, firm - undeniable in its intentions and message. For the first two seconds, Amy was frozen from the shock, as so many emotions beat in her heart and so many thoughts tangled up in her head...

Sonic was kissing her.

For the first time.

Tears cascaded down Amy's face from the emotional catharsis. She kissed him back, pushing against his soft lips with passion, finally releasing all of the repressed emotions in her heart, showing Sonic just how much she still loved him and wanted him. Oh, it felt so wonderful... her heart threatened to beat right out of her chest... this was what she'd wanted... for so long... so ... long.. She'd asked Sonic if he loved her and he was kissing her in response. Which could only mean that... he did. Oh, she knew it... all those dreams hadn't been for naught... as here she finally was, in Sonic's arms, with his lips clinging to hers...

"Amy...?"

She opened her eyes, wondering how Sonic could talk if he'd been kissing her...

"You understand, right?" he asked, hating how unsure of himself he was being. But he'd told her... what he'd had to. It didn't matter if it was the truth or not... there was no sense in keeping her hopes up if there was no chance of them being together...

Amy blinked... and that's when she realized that her lips were puckered and she was crying... but Sonic still stood at a distance from her, looking apologetic, as if he'd just said something horrible.

And then the truth all crashed down on her, ripping her heart in anguish.

Oh... she hadn't actually kissed him, it had been a dream the whole time, the whole thing, just in her girlish fantasy... it was all a lie, just in her head, never to come true... and he'd said something while her mind had been in the clouds... he'd said... he'd said..._ no._..

Sonic gave her a tender smile, one that was reserved just for her... and it killed her heart.

"Well, I guess I'll see ya later, Ames... I'm sorry but... sleep well tonight..." and with that simple parting, the hedgehog sped off to his next adventure.

_No, Sonic, I don't understand... and I don't think I ever will..._

Slowly recovering from yet another heartbreak, Amy got up and headed back to her house, sniffing and letting the tears fall down her face and drip to moisten the dry ground underneath her feet. She couldn't stay here and feel sorry for herself... she'd have to get up early to go to school in the morning... though in the meantime, she'd lie in bed and dream that Sonic was holding her and whispering sweet words of love.

"Oh Sonic..." she later whispered to her pillow as she buried her tear-stained face in it. "I love you, too..."

...~...

**A/N: Yes, I am back writing again. Sorry if this story left you feeling... different than my other stories, and that I broke my "can't do unhappy endings" thing, but I just_ needed _to get this out.  
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**Yes, Sonic and Amy are both terribly OOC. I'm incredibly rusty right now... and besides, they're both (young) adults in this story.**

**No, Sonic and Amy didn't actually kiss, that was all in Amy's head. Normally I don't write this ambiguously, but this was more of me trying to get these leftover feelings out of my heart. I wanted to purge them out, by way of a huge emotional release, or a catharsis. Hence the title.**

**No, I'm not continuing it, it'll remain a Oneshot...unless... I turn this into sort of a series... I'll ask my heart and get back to you all on that.  
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**Anyway, it's good to be back in action. I'm not making any promises about when I'll update (anything) next...**


End file.
